Cat O' Nine Tales was my first Jeffrey Archer book. I picked it up with great hesitation because I hadn't read any of his previous books and a friend warned me that his books required lot of patience to finish.Luckily, Cat O' Nine Tales was Jeffrey Archer's fifth instalment of short stories and so my friend's warning went unheeded.
The book has 12 stories of which 9 (and hence the name) are based on true incidents with embellishment. These stories were written while Jeffrey Archer was serving a sentence at Her Majesty's prisons. Most stories involve convicts or criminals and their run in with the law eventually.
"Maestro" is the story of an Italian restaurateur who almost ends up behind bars after evading tax for years. "Do not disturb" is the tale of an English business man who plans to murder his wife in Russia to save himself from a messy divorce. In yet another tale of deceit, "Red King", a conman fools an English Lord into believing that he possesses a missing chess piece to a set that could fetch a fortune. "Charity begins at home" is the story of a retired accountant who plans to make up for lost time by trying to make a fortune from charity fund raisers. "The Commissioner" is the tale of a witty commissioner with the Bombay police who sends a petty criminal to a morgue after the latter tries to use the top cop's office to scam people.
The book spans 255 pages, costs Rs.270 and is simply fabulous. Period!
The recent impasse between the Indian hockey players and the federation that finally caught the attention of the nation, might have been resolved till the hockey world cup next month. During this impasse, the media highlighted some disturbing questions like "Why other sports are meted step-motherly treatment?" and "Why is cricket so popular in India?".
The latter question is very disturbing because we are a country of more than a billion and have varied interests but when it comes to cricket our obsession is unanimous. Certain disturbing trends like PT Usha (our golden girl) breaking down on seeing the dismal accommodation provided to her by a state government, Dhanraj Pillay (a hockey legend) breaking down during a TV interview when asked if he would encourage his son to take up the sport or the emerging extravagance of cricket do not seem to even make a difference. Cricket players are earning crores of rupees for a handful IPL matches while some sports players live off paltry wages (as less as Rs.200/- a day) to make both ends meet, sometimes selling their trophies and medals off.
This post is my take on why cricket is popular and more importantly, how it can save our sports.
Cricket in India is promoted and commercialized by a private monopolistic company called the BCCI. Most key people in this organization are businessmen or politicians linking their commercial interests with the sport.
On the other hand, other sports are promoted by the respective state sports federation which comes under the national sports federation. The government babus administer these organizations and most have never played any sport in their life, cannot even relate to it but control the lives of hundreds of hard working sportsmen. Since the government at the helm it controls the administration, the budget and how it is used. No politician ever cares to even question the policies of the federations because there is no economic incentive for them here. These sports federations don't even have the means to look after the welfare of our sportsmen leave alone identify, hone and retain talent. There are no incentives for performers, not even appreciation from the head of the federation. No money or appreciation...but we expect medals!
So how can cricket save other sports?
I believe that by replicating the BCCI model, the other sports too can benefit. First, the government can start by kicking out these babus and replacing them with former sports persons. Pay them a decent salary to keep out corruption and give them the autonomy to take decisions because they are aware of the problems. Conduct regular elections to elect the governing body for a term of 4 years (because most major tournaments like the Olympics are conducted every 4 years). The government can raise money for the federation by levying a tax on every cricket related transaction (like from sale of cricket gear, tickets, player earnings, sponsorships etc). Even if the tax is as low as 0.5% the federation can easily raise upto 50 crores. Apart from this, donations should be made tax exemptible so that corporates can support the cause. With so much money available, independent auditors must be appointed to overlook the accounts. The performance of the federation and sports persons should be reviewed by external consultants.
The federation should make use of the money to promote sports in schools, building hostels, training and covering the costs of sports persons.
Hopefully through these changes, India might be able to improve it's medal tally at the 2016 olympics. All this without sacrificing our love for the pseudo-national sport. The more cricket flourishes, so will the other sports!
With the new year day past us, lots of us would have made resolutions. It's another matter that most of the resolutions would have already been forgotten by now. A couple of friends resolved to lose weight and regain their shape.
In India, where every Tom, Dick and Harry gives free advice, obese people need to be discerning. They shoudl ascertain facts and not act desperately. With due regards to obese people, most of them fall prey to pedestrian advice and eventually become a laughing stock.
Here is a list of such funny advice that I have overheard in ascending order of comedy:
Dieting:
"Don't consume carbohydrates"
"Don't eat greasy food"
Heard these before? Dieting is by far the most common advice given and most people actually fall for this. Off late, some people are taking this very seriously that it is losing it's comic value.
It is a scientifically proven fact that our body needs all nutrients in optimum quantities and depriving the body of these is only going to harm it further.
Regulate your breath:
"Control your breathing and you can lose weight"
If this were true, you don't even have to watch what you eat!
काँटे को काँटे से निकाला जाता है:
In English, a thorn is to be removed with a thorn. I heard some chap giving this advice to his brother in a train. He was suggesting his brother to eat so much junk food that his body's metabolism reverses and he starts losing weight. Outright stupid and suicidal! Don't even attempt this in your dream!
Kareena did it, so can I!:
Kareena Kapoor became (in)famous after her size-zero look was unveiled but it is foolishness if you believe that you too can lose weight the same way. Every human body is different and no weight loss method is sure shot or foolproof.
Paying for your sins:
"Your obesity is a punishment for your previous life's sins. Do good deeds and you'll lose weight."
This one's got to be the funniest! I overheard my friend's grandmother share this advice and I burst out laughing on her face! Going by this, all slim people were probably priests in their previous life. If you really want people to do good, then think of a better story.
Come on folks! How gullible can you be? Such stupid advice should never be attempted but laughed at. Did you or your friends get any such advice? If yes, please do share them with us and spread the cheer!
R.K. Narayan happens to be my favourite author because most of his stories are timeless and make for a light reading at the end of a heavy work day. He is undoubtedly the widest read author in India, right from high school kids to retired grandparents. Clearly, this reflects the versatility and greatness of the man who is able to satisfy such a wide age parity.
As, I was browsing through books at my favourite book store, my eyes were stuck on a red coloured book decorated with floral motifs and a tiger and a sage on the cover. I almost replaced the book on the stand when my eyes caught a glimpse of R.K. Narayan's name. Without any hesitation, I purchased "A Tiger for Malgudi" written by R.K. Narayan in 1983 and published by Indian Thought Publications.
This book review might be slightly biased (difficult to dispassionate when you are reviewing your favourite author) but you have nothing to lose reading a book that spans less than 200 pages and costs just Rs. 95/- and is written by one of the greatest authors of India.
"A Tiger for Malgudi" is the story of the life of a tiger. The tiger is the narrator and protagonist of the story, probably one of the very few stories where an animal is the narrator.
The story begins with an old and dying tiger recollecting it's carefree cub days with it's mother and siblings. As it grew into a ferocious tiger, it moved and hunted independently. As it started ageing, it came across a human habitation in a forest and made easy pickings of the livestock. Tired of losing their livelihood to the tiger, the villagers contact a circus ringmaster to trap the tiger. The ringmaster vows to make the tiger a star attraction in his circus and begins inflicting torture on the poor creature. The feline breaks under the pressure and kills the trainer in a freak accident and walks out unchallenged into Malgudi where the circus is camping. The sight of a tiger strolling through the town causes a lot of commotion in the town and this is depicted comically through the eyes of the tiger. Finally, a wise sage comes to the rescue of the town and controls the tiger through his mystical powers. The animal is captivated by his new master's sparkling eyes and follows him devoutly to the hills. Here the master enlightens the tiger and brings about a change of heart in the tiger. The tiger spends the rest of it's life loyal to it's master in penance.
R.K. Narayan intricately draws parallels to the stages of life of a man and tiger and beautifully depicts our life through the eyes of a tiger. Nothing very fancy but a simple story with comical elements and a vivid description of human life and emotions through the eyes of an animal. On the whole, a great book for a weekday reading and a treasurable gift.
September 25th, was the last day at my previous job with Citi. I had taken the decision after a slight deterioration in health and lack of satisfaction.
If you have an interesting and challenging job, then please contact me.